Someone peed in my car during rideshare on the Bay Bridge. newsworthy..?

I wrote this to the SF chronic February 26, 2007 A.D.

Subject: Newsworthy?

To Whom it may Concern:

Just wanted to make someone aware that at approximately 9:05AM today, while driving three people (picked up in the Berkeley rideshare on College Ave/Claremont Ave) over the Bay Bridge to Downtown SF, the man sitting shotgun pulled out a plastic bag and started fiddling with his pants zipper to pull out his penis to pee in the bag. I put the brakes on this action immediately, stating forcefully "What the F%&K are you doing!! Are you serious! You are a grown man! Hold it!. WTF!!".

Here's what followed:

Man: "...But I really have to go"
Me: "I don't give a $hit! You knew this trip would take 35 minutes. Any human can hold it for 10 minutes beyond the point where they don't thing they can hold it anymore!"
Man: "Ok, I'll hold it... but I really have to go..."
Me: (Looking back at the two back seat passengers for support on my stance..)
Them: (Hiding behind their newspapers; terrified)..

(To back up, this was the first day I ever participated in casual carpool, and I did so because I was late for a job interview and need to buzz through traffic. In hindsight, this was a poor decision.)

We had just passed the Treasure Island Tunnel and were still in heavy traffic, about 5-10 minutes from Downtown SF. I was steaming. But what can you say or do?? I contemplated stopping the car and throwing him out on the bridge, but realized he would be run over or fall off the bridge, and I subsequently would be charged with involuntary manslaughter, so I nixed that plan. (If you disagree with this point, look at how dumb our nation's legal system has become).

After pleading with the man to hold it (and thinking he would, because after all; he's an adult human), and after about 2-3 minutes of groaning from the man, he went
quiet.

This was disheartening, as his silence meant the groaning had stopped, and his groaning stopping meant he pissed his pants. And him pissing his pants more disturbingly, meant he pissed my cloth passenger side seat...

(There's little I could have done to prevent this. Once you commit to casual carpool, you can't pre-screen passengers that quickly at a pick up spot. You pick up the first two or three passengers and go. The man looked respectable. Certainly wasn't homeless, but he CLEARLY had problems).

When I got to the city (Fremont St.), I pulled over and screamed at him and demanded he pay for my detailing. He said no, and pointed out that I agreed to drive him and he thanked me for the ride..

What do you do in that situation? My friends said I should have called the cops.. I was livid, but I wasn't going to do that because I would have wasted time waiting for a police report, only to serve no purpose other than a funny story for the guys to re-tell at the station with no further recourse. Plus, I would have missed my interview. (FYI: I was in utter shock when I got to my interview and told the interviewer that I would not be able to answer any questions or speak in full sentences until he understood what I had just gone through. He was happy I told him).

Long story short, this type of $hit happens to me all the time. I just never thought it would get to the point that someone I was kind enough to give a ride to would thank me by emptying his bladder on my front seat.

Fondly,

Stuart