The blind leading the blinder

Since I have been in South America for 5 months and I still don't speak spanish "fluently", I went to Sucre, Bolivia to live with a family and take spanish classes last week, hoping I would leave the city with a greater understanding of the Spanish. Unintentionally, I left with a great understanding of english.

The house: A typical bolivian house costs $20,000 to build. In the U.S., $20,000 is easily spent on window finishings and throw pillows. (don't even get me started on the uselessness of throw pillows). This house was still very much underconstruction, as I had to climb over stacks of bricks, mounds of sand and coils of wire to get to the bathroom. And when I finally arrived to the bath room , I was typically greeted by a centrally located pile of dog shit left by the family's friendly pooch. Unhygenically, these were typically left for over 24 hours, and soon after they were cleaned, the dog would renew the bathroom's subscription to his poo.

Also, the house had exceptionally low doorways. On exactly 4 occasions, I crushed my head on one of these "homestead quirks" and Two of these collisions occured within 3 minutes of each other, which made me feel especially stupid while crippled on the floor clutching my head. Happily, I only drew blood once.

The Class: My professor said I spoke spanish "Muy Bien" (Which means Very Good, or possibly; Very Bean). After our first lesson, she asked if I wanted to help teach her english class. Since this extra class would keep me away from the host-family home and thusly lower my odds of brain damage and stepping in dog shit, I agreed.

Little did I know that by "help", she actually meant "you teach the class by yourself (eventhough you have never taught before and don't really know what a pro-noun means) while I go do other stuff". It was great. I love teaching english to beginners, as you have control of what they know. (This is probably Exhibit A of why I should not be aloud to teach).

Important phrases I taught: "You need to wash yourself", "Give me your wallet", Ditto (to be said after someone speaks in english to you and you don't understand), "sun's out, guns out", etc.

My worst student was named Axel.

(On a side note: I would like to apologize to every teacher I have ever had that I laughed at when they got chalk on their hands, clothes, faces, pants, etc. At the end of my first class, my jacket looked like the baseboard of a fingerprint crime scene investigation).