Excuse me while my friend performs an emotionally hurtful act

A few days ago I met up with a friend of a friend of a friend (now just a friend) for lunch in Downtown Santiago. Katie was in Santiago for two weeks taking spanish classes, and at the time of our rendevoux, had not been overly impressed with the City. Our lunch did little to change her mind.

We settled on an outdoor dining establishment after discovering that the all you can eat pizza place was closed. Strike 1. As we were having a nice lunch and figuring out how many degrees of friendship separation there was between us, a male in his early 30's (we'll call him Player A) interrupted our conversation and inquired if we spoke German. I have been mistaken to do a lot of things in my life, but german fluency is not one of them. I found this to be rather odd.

[To preface this: When I sat down at the lunch table, I firmly placed my backpack between my feet and noticed Katie's bag was by her side facing the interior of the restaurant, providing satisfactory safety. Strike 2.]

What we didn't expect was an amigo of Player A (we'll call him Peter), sped walked through the restaurant as Player A was asking us his asinine question, and snatched Katie's bag lying right next to her. He was gone before we had a chance to inform Player A that we didn't want any German Sausage and that we could communicate with him. Strike 3.

Even more unfortunate, we didn't notice her purse had been stolen until we were finished eating 45 minutes later. Upon looking under the table and chairs about 8 times, we searched area waste baskets to see if the Ladrone (thief) had taken her wallet and Ipod and left her spanish notes, which was the stolen item that frustrated Katie the most. Our search efforts came up empty.

Speaking of Baseball, I have a Darryl Strawberry Autograph. I wonder if he remembers when my parents interrupted him for it when riding in an elevator. I wonder if he remembers anything.