Orange you glad knock knock jokes aren´t told anymore?

I taged along with one of my friends to Horcon, a local fisherman´s town that smells like rotten fish and seagull poop. That being said, it was prettyish. Because I was tagging along, my friend (Shivit from Israel) was calling the shots, and issued a strong desire to get there asap. So we planned on meeting at the bus stop in Santiago at 8am on Saturday. With this impending early wake up, i chose not to go out friday night and I set my alarm for 7:15am. I woke up at 7:53am. At this point (and you know the drill) you freak out, eject out of bed, start running around in cirles, etc. I ran to the shower and threw the water lever on, only to have the portable shower head (meant for multiple heights: ie. Silvi), fall off its perch and start whipping around, emitting freezing cold water in all directions. My half-awake, boxer-wearing self crippled to the floor trying to avoid the shower head´s wrath. It had none of it.

After showering and grabing a piece of stale bread, i ran to the bus stop, arriving at 8:06, only to find no one there. This was good, knowing that I didn´t make anyone wait, so i grabbed a bench and waited for my friend to arrive. We finally met up at 10am. She was apparently pretty tired, and needed to get some extra shuteye.

We took a bus to Valparaiso and then had to hook up with another bus to Horcon. (Side note: Valparaiso needs mandatory (dubbed) screenings of the Price is Right, soley for Bob Barker´s reminder to have your pets spade or neutered. There are thousands of stray dogs in Valpo. However, I kind of like stray dogs. They´re chill, unlike their caged up chilean counterparts, who go delirious if a leaf falls from a tree).

Ok, I´m back. I shouldn´t let the dogs throw me off my game like that. Anyway, having only eaten a few pieces of stale bread 4 hours previous, i was starving. We didn´t have time to eat before getting on the second bus, so i sprinted over to the farmers market to pick something up. Unfortunately, this section of the market was the non-easily-consumable-products section of the market (Eggplants, Watermelon, Full Wheels of Cheese, etc). After a few moments of searching, i spotted and settled on Oranges. The sign said 3 for 1.000 ($2). All I wanted was 1 Orange, but the attendant said he wouldn´t allow it, so i begrudingly loaded three oranges into my bag and paid my 1.000. As i was walking away, the same attendant ran after me, grabbing at my backpack to get me to stop. I initially though he was trying to steal something from me, but instead, he snagged my bag of oranges out of my hand and started filling it with more, unneeded and unwanted, Oranges. The 3 for 1.000, had meant 3kg for 1.000.

When i returned to the bus stop with a bag of approximately 25 oranges (24 of which i didn´t want), my friend commented that she didn´t know i was that hungry. When our bus finally came, i found a place to sit, and put my bags under the seat.

About 5 minutes into the trip I noticed our bus had pulled over, but not to pick up more passengers. When I looked up, I saw the Bus Driver holding 3 Oranges, and reaching down near his feet for more. I looked to check my sac of Oranges, which was obviously completely empty. All 25 of my oranges were scattered around on the floor of the bus, a high concentration of which ventured forward to the area underneath the driver´s gas and brake pedals. After retreiving the oranges from the driver and "Lo Siento"ing my ass off, i walked through the isle to collect the remaining oranges which could be easily located by the other passengers extending their arm in an upward direction and presenting an orange in their hand. I then said i was Canadian and sat down.

Chill With Me: Stray Dogs
On Notice: Dogs
Dead to Me: Salami

Lo Siento = Sorry.