Wine, Czech chicks, smushed grapes and adams apples

I went to a vineyard yesterday and left unsober. Some compadres and i went on a field trip to the Cousino Macul Vineyard, located 20 minutes outside of Santiago. (Close enough to the city to officially soak up the fresh urban smog). In addition to my friends, the tour included a very attractive and classy tour guide in her late 30´s, a mexican couple, a few chileans, a california family (the son of which, repeatedly tugged on my shorts thinking i was his dad. I am happy to report that i am not), and 20 Czechs. This is because they love to drink, take pictures and drink.

Only one of the 20 Czechs spoke english and/or spanish, so everything that was said in Spanish and then english, was translated into Czech by a women who can only be described as manish. In a booming baritone voice, she would whip off minutes of translation, while the rest of us cringed from the echo created in the underground wine cellars. Over the course of the tour we were given several samples, where hostesses walked around and filled up our wine glasses. When the ladies were doling out the first rare orange wine (meticulously squished from skinned black grapes) i experienced a true Milton moment (stapler and basement guy from Office Space). They started with three bottles, and i soon saw the first and second bottles empty into the Czechs, and as i stuck out my glass for the orange wine, other tour goers kept nudging in front of me, until the point where the final bottle was almost empty and only a few of us were sin vino. The final bottle emptied into the glass of the person next to me, filling their glass to the perfect sample tasting size. And then the lady walked away while i was standing there with my hand and glass extended. Out of the entire tour, i was the only person who didn´t get filled up.

*For the non-office space generation: Milton from office space was a mumbling idiot who was at an office birthday party and they were distributing cake. He was first in line and got cake first, but a prototypical secretary tells Milton to stop being selfish and keep passing until everyone has cake. He complies begrudgingly until the point that all cake is passed out and only he is without cake. He proceeds to sets the office on fire.

In different news; on a bus (micro) to the coast this morning, the couple in the seat next to me were made out for two straight hours. This was not awesome. Which reminds me: Paulo is cooking Chacha dinner in the next episode of the spanish class movie. (probably something full of fiber and aphrodisiacs). They also showed Paulo doing home exercises in a speedo. On a side note, I am definitely fitting into the culture more and more, especially as I sit at this computer terminal in a speedo.