Grandpa

I included this in my grandfather's remembrance booklet:

The best way to celebrate one's life is by sharing memories. The following are memories I have of Grandpa, and things I learned from him along the way.

1) In America, we drive Fords.
2) Grey New Balance 991 Running Shoes are the best.
3) You've reached a new level of "male greatness" when your living room is in the garage.
4) It's ok to shape your hamburgers like chocolate donut holes.
5) When organizing the Fourth of July golf shot competition, the "intrinsic value" of the prizes are inverseley proportional to the place they are awarded. (However, it is difficult to argue the intangible value of duct tape).
6) There is nothing unfunny about winning a prize that you gave Grandpa the previous Christmas.
7) When you get a bargain, shout it from the rooftops.
8) I think everyone secretly wants a blue tractor.
9) Moving things from Point A to Point B to Point A is perfectly acceptable when you own a blue tractor.
10) When life hands you lemons, make 6 children.. (Grandpa's army leader told his entire platoon that they would never have children because of exposure to a detonated atomic bomb).
11) Put in a hard days work.
12) Inflation is real. Until about 1998, Grandpa would generously give out his "Merry X-mas" envelope, and say "don't spend it all in one place!" However, in time, this transitioned to "Well, maybe you can buy a tank of gas.."
13) The annual summer "fill up on Grandpa" at Joneseys gas station is something I will do for my grandchildren.
14) The merits of Scotch.
15) The demerits of the Yankees.
16) Why hire a latino pool boy when you can do it yourself.
17) Find the coolest girl you know and marry her.
18) Family comes first.

I miss you, Grandpa.